Does it take longer for you to understand, or to be understood?

Maybe we make it harder
than it needs to be.

We often expect people
to see things the way we do.
To react the way we would.
To understand what we mean
without us having to explain it.

But we are not made the same.

We have different values,
different backgrounds,
different experiences,
different ways of thinking,
of loving,
of communicating,
of seeing the world.

So why do we keep expecting
the same answer
from someone who has
a completely different way
of seeing the world?

Maybe that’s where
so many misunderstandings begin.

We think we are being clear.
They think they are being clear.
And somehow,
we still don’t understand each other.

Being misunderstood
can take only a moment.

Being understood
can take years.

Maybe that’s why
understanding has to come first.

Not agreeing.
Not thinking the same.
Just trying to see
what the other person sees
before asking them
to see what we see.

And maybe understanding
doesn’t mean becoming the same.

Maybe the difference
is in one little word.

Not:

“I understand, but…”

But:

“I understand. And…”

Because understanding someone
doesn’t mean leaving yourself behind.

Maybe that’s what understanding really is:

making space for someone else
without losing who you are.

— Fuerpa Slow Journal